The Joker's New Life
by Windrises
Summary: Joker stops his life of crime and focuses on a more pleasant future.


Notes: The characters in this story are owned by DC Comics. The Joker was inspired by actor Conrad Veidt and was created by Bill Finger, Bob Kane, and Jerry Robinson. Harley Quinn was created by Paul Dini and Bruce Timm.

A few years ago the Joker was threatened to be sent to a regular prison if he didn't stop breaking out of Arkham Asylum. Joker hated the thought of being in a normal prison instead of with the crazy people in Gotham. He spent a few years in Arkham Asylum without ever trying to escape. He was eventually let free which most people were upset about, but he was given a chance at a new life anyways.

The Joker went years without any robberies or fights. However, he still lived up to his name. He often went around the streets of Gotham and pulled pranks on people. Lots of people got mad at him, but none of his pranks were illegal so he got to cause chaos without punishment.

Joker and Harley Quinn had been dating, but they were living in separate homes. Harley was roommates with Poison Ivy in a small house that was next to a plant store and Joker used one of his former hideouts for a house.

After a few months of being a free man Joker had made a big decision. He knocked on Harley's house door to ask an important question. Poison Ivy opened the door and asked, "What do you want clown?"

Joker felt a little offended while saying, "Refer to me by my name, not that rude term. Plus your roommate's a clown so mocking me makes no sense."

Poison Ivy asked, "Can I help you?"

Joker answered, "Get a less corny name." Poison Ivy shut the door. Joker knocked on the door again and said, "Get Harley to come here."

Poison Ivy replied, "Harley, that jerk you're dating is here."

Harley Quinn ran up to Joker and said, "Hi sweetheart."

Joker replied, "Come with me."

Harley didn't like being bossed around so she said, "Ahem."

Joker sighed and replied, "Please accompany me on a date."

Harley responded, "Okay."

Joker and Harley went to a fancy restaurant. Joker said, "I finally got a job."

Harley asked, "What is it?"

Joker couldn't help laughing while saying, "I've been hired to be a birthday clown."

Harley asked, "Wouldn't you give kids nightmares?"

Joker smiled and answered, "Scarecrow told me that fear is an important thing that kids should know more about."

The waiter walked by and asked, "How can I help you?"

Joker answered, "Just give us whatever food's on sale. I'm running low on money."

Harley said, "I can pay if you want."

Joker said, "Then get me something tasty and be quick. The only thing that I've eaten today is a box of bat cookies."

The waiter asked, "What do you want to drink?"

Joker answered, "Any drink that's loaded with sugar is acceptable for my standards." The waiter rolled his eyes.

Harley asked, "How was your day?"

Joker answered, "Quite nice. However, playing board games with the Riddler sure was boring."

Harley said, "Helping out Ivy with her plant shop has been going well for me. I'm actually making money now."

Joker replied, "Good for you."

Harley looked at Joker and could tell that he was hiding something. She asked, "What's going on?"

Joker smiled and answered, "The usual type of chaos."

Harley replied, "You haven't acting like yourself ever since you left Arkham Asylum."

Joker nervously asked, "What are you talking about? I'm still the clown prince of crime."

Harley replied, "But you haven't done any crimes in a long time."

Joker asked, "Is that a problem?"

Harley answered, "No, I enjoy not having to worry about getting arrested and locked up. However, I need to know the reason for your sudden change."

Joker sighed and said, "I did it for you."

Harley asked, "Really?"

Joker answered, "I was worried when I was threatened to be sent to a real prison. If that happened I would be sent to a different city and I wouldn't get to be with you. I would miss you."

Harley smiled and replied, "That's so sweet of you."

Joker stubbornly said, "I'm not sweet at all. I'm still a vicious villain. I would love to go back to crime, but there's no fun in crime without you. That's why I had to clean up my act."

Harley replied, "I become a criminal for you and you stopped being evil for me? That's crazy."

Joker laughed and said, "That's perfect for us. We're lovingly crazy, because we have mad love for each other."

Harley smiled and said, "I like the new you."

Joker replied, "Thank you."

Harley said, "I feel like everything in our lives has gotten better."

Joker said, "There's one thing that isn't as good as it used to be. Since you're not my sidekick anymore I don't get to see you as often as I used to. I'm not fond of that."

Harley sighed and said, "Ivy's a great roommate, but hearing her go on and on about plants is so exhausting. If working at her plant shop wasn't my job I would break a few plants in half."

Joker gently held Harley's hand and said, "I have something important to ask you."

Harley asked, "What is it?"

Joker asked, "Will you move in with me?"

Harley wanted to scream yes, but she had a few concerns. She asked, "Don't you live in one of your old hideouts?"

Joker answered, "After we make more money we can move to a nicer place."

Harley said, "I'd love to move in with you."

Joker replied, "Wonderful." He and Harley kissed each other.

The next day the Joker visited the Penguin at his lounge. Joker shook the Penguin's hand and asked, "How have you been?"

Penguin answered, "Quite well. I admit that you're not someone that I considered to be a smart plan maker, but your idea for us to stop being criminals was genius. My lounge is such a big success that I don't need to steal money anymore to become rich."

Joker looked excited while saying, "I made a big change in my life."

Penguin replied, "Sounds interesting. Sit down." Joker and Penguin sat down at one of the tables.

Joker said, "Last night I decided to ask Harley Quinn to move in with me and she agreed to it."

Penguin asked, "Was that your way of proposing?"

Joker angrily answered, "Don't bring up marriage. I've matured a lot in recent years, but I'm not ready for that."

The Riddler overheard the Joker so he walked up to the table and said, "What an interesting riddle."

Joker asked, "What's he doing here?"

Penguin answered, "Riddler's one of my most frequent customers. He often comes by to flirt with women. He's embarrassingly dorky when it comes to trying to ask women out."

Riddler said, "I overheard your conversation and it made me want to give you a riddle."

Joker asked, "What is it?"

Riddler said, "Riddle me this: What kind of man asks his girlfriend to move in with him, but doesn't plan on getting married?"

Joker said, "Plenty of couples move in before getting married."

Riddler had a sneaky smile on his face while saying, "But you said that you have no intention of marrying her which means you have a secret."

Joker sighed and said, "I'm running out of money. Since Harley has a job I'll have enough money if she moves in."

Penguin replied, "Smart business choice."

Joker said, "Yes, but if Harley finds out she'll probably be mad at me." Riddler walked away with a smug smile on his face.

The next day Harley grabbed her mail. She noticed that she had a letter from the Riddler. Harley opened it and read it aloud, "Riddle me this: What kind of scoundrel asks his girlfriend to move in with him just so he can have more money?" Harley growled.

Harley drove to Joker's hideout. It was a broken down theme park. She went inside and found the Joker. Joker smiled and said, "Hi honey."

Harley angrily stared at the Joker and asked, "Do you want me to move in with you just so you can save money?"

Joker nervously said, "That's totally not what I was intending."

Harley felt offended while saying, "I thought you wanted me to move in with you, because you love me and want to see me everyday."

Joker tried to make Harley feel better while saying, "Those things are true. I want to always be with you. However, having money is kind of important."

Harley asked, "Do you have any attention of giving me a ring?" Joker stuck his tongue out at the thought of that. Harley walked out.

Joker thought what just happened and said, "It seems like I messed up, but figuring out how to make things right sure is hard."

Joker walked to his freezer so he could get a popsicle, but he found out that Mr. Freeze was in his freezer. Joker angrily asked, "What are you doing in there?!"

Mr. Freeze answered, "I needed a place to cool down so I moved into your freezer. Can I stay here?"

Joker said, "If you pay the rent."

Mr. Freeze replied, "Okay."

Joker said, "Harley's driving me sane."

Mr. Freeze asked, "Don't you mean insane?"

Joker shook his head and answered, "No, her love has made me want to act more like a responsible person. However, I messed things up by asking her to move in with me for the money."

Mr. Freeze replied, "That's cold."

Joker said, "Shut up Mr. Zero."

Mr. Freeze rolled his eyes and replied, "I'm Mr. Freeze, not Mr. Zero."

Joker asked, "Do you know how I can make Harley feel better?"

Mr. Freeze asked, "Would you like to live with Harley even if she didn't pay the rent?"

Joker thought about it and said, "Yes."

Mr. Freeze replied, "I have enough money saved up from my time as a scientist to pay for your rent."

Joker raised his eyebrows and asked, "Why would you help me?"

Mr. Freeze sighed and answered, "I failed to save my wife. I want to make things right by saving a couple."

Joker smiled and said, "Thank you Mr. Freeze." Joker and Mr. Freeze shook hands.

Joker drove to Harley's house. He knocked on the door. Harley opened it and asked, "What's going on?"

Joker answered, "I want you to live with me. Forget about having to pay the rent. I just want to have fun and chaos with you everyday. You're the only thing I love more than pranking people. Without you I'm just a joke, but when I'm with you I'm the happiest clown in the world."

Harley smiled and said, "I'm glad to hear that. I'm sorry for being rude earlier. I can take care of the rent."

Joker replied, "The man that's living in the freezer will take care of it."

Harley asked, "What?"

Joker laughed and said, "Don't worry about it. Will you move in with me?"

Harley replied, "Yes." She kissed the Joker. She asked, "Will you help me move?"

Joker didn't want to help Harley move so he said, "Since you'll be moving out of Poison Ivy's house she should help you move. It would be a great goodbye present for both of you."

Harley replied, "Okay."

A week later Harley's stuff was moved into the Joker's hideout. Harley got excited and said, "It's going to be fun to re-decorate this place."

Joker sighed and asked, "Do you have to do that?"

Harley shrugged her shoulders and said, "I might re-decorate. The real thing that I'm excited about is getting to live with you. Do you think that we'll be together forever?"

Joker asked, "Who knows what the future might bring? There might be chaos, crazy antics, animal themed weirdos, and bad riddles, but what I do feel sure about is that there's no lack of happiness and jokes when you're around." Harley hugged the Joker. The Joker blushed and said, "You won my hear and that's the least funny, but most magical joke of all."


End file.
